MsMonis...musings

MsMonis, wedding photographer?

2008-09-03T13:13:00.000-07:00

i'm so excited! i'm so excited! i'm so scared!

my coworker just asked me to take pictures at her wedding! can i handle that kind of responsibility? what if i mess up? what if i'm great! what if i forget to take the lens cap off! AHHH!

next stop => amazon.com for important professional photog accessories.

i'll take the compliment

2008-08-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

i received an email from a former co-worker today, a cute older filipino lady who's a cross between my grandma and tweety bird. due to office bullshit she no longer works here but has filled her days since grinding daily in various ballroom dance classes and world travel.

anyways, she asked about my acting and mentioned that she thought of me the other day when she went to the sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 because i remind her of america...which only reaffirms my belief that i should have been cast as her older sister in real women have curves and not the gordita from stand and deliver.

that which i love, i also really suck at

2008-08-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

oh man, do i have a lot of work ahead of me.

i had my first group voice lesson on monday. i may have entered fearful yet excited but i sure as hell left scared shitless yet frustrated.

so it started out ok. we sat in a circle and our teacher, the awesome stephanie, had us all introduce ourselves and tell a little about our musical background, why we were there, etc, etc, etc.

-pinay had no musical background/experience (yay!) but did have a karaoke machine at home (uh oh). pinay + karaoke = a lot more experience than you think.
-mild mannered girl had taken the class already
-janis joplin-lite had experience singing with a band and hurt her voice by singing lots of janis joplin songs with no previous training. again, experience.
-nice older white couple (husband & wife) were next. she used to sing in the church choir. he used to play in a band
-so-called stage fright girl can SANG but has stage fright...allegedly.
-me...yeah.
-theatre geek girl studied theatre tech in college. and sang along back stage. she also plays rock band with her friends.
-chick who reminds me of the runaway bride but without the crazy eyes has experience. like lots.
-little man plays multiple instruments and apparently wrote, produced and played on an album.

so, yeah, after intros we had a little warm up. then we learned an easy little blues song called "centerpiece". we all sang it as a group over and over until we learned the words and melody and then we each got a chance to sing a verse into the microphone. since we were all singing together i didn't dwell too much on the part where i messed up. the only mess up in the group. then, the sweat glands started working overdrive when we each had to get up in front of the group and sing the song by ourselves. nice older white husband went first and was OK. since no one volunteered, i went up second. eh, not bad, not great. i may have held at least one note for more than a second. everyone else went and you could tell that each person up was a little better than the last. pinay had some tempo problems but she has a decent voice that will get better with time.

hot messness ensues...

the class is part voice, part performance. for 7 weeks, we'll work on 2-3 songs. at the end of the 7 weeks we will perform 2 songs in a little voice lesson showcase in a public place. i was one of 3 people who brought in the music for a song we wanted to work on. due to some chemical imbalance, i went first. i chose a song that i have loved for more than half my life. a song i practiced for about an hour the night before. this song is part of the soundtrack of my life. it's an r&b classic. a classic that took me 2 notes to step on, burn, pee on, burn again, spit on, then poop on, then i took it to the butcher and had him make sausages out of it.

i won't get into all the hitzness. it was just bad. i might as well have been standing up there naked with boogers hanging out of my nose. i don't think it could have been worse.

as keeks has said, it can only get better. the man is a blithering idiot but he makes sense. it's a class and i'm there to get better, or based on my performance, i'm there to not suck so much. while i'm intimidated by the other students, and my insecurities have risen to orange alert, i don't feel threatened. scared of what's ahead, but not threatened. it's a nurturing environment with an amazingly nice teacher. (who knew germans could be so neat?!?) i also have a really awesome friend in keeks, my musical partner in crime. we conquered the C major scale together and climaxed at 2 madonna concerts. i've been his audience and #1 fan for the mint, rehearsals, or just about anytime he wants to bust out some pentecostal hand waving and wailing while waiting for MUNI. it's his turn now.

most of the pieces i need to become a singer are in place. zen-like patience and hero-like courage will follow.

i'm as happy as a little girl

2008-08-22T16:08:00.000-07:00

here i go again...my, my...how can i resist ya?

q.e.p.d. eloy chavez trujillo

2008-08-18T10:56:00.001-07:00

q.e.p.d.
Originally uploaded by MsMonis

i have few memories of my tio eloy. two of the most prominent are of him driving and me telling him where to go. it's weird the things you remember as a kid. the most lucid was in san francisco after 4th of july fireworks at crissy field. we were lost in the avenues and i, ever the smart ass, helpfully kept telling him we lived on 26th STREET, not avenue. the other, more blurry was in mexico city, trying to keep up with my dad, but falling behind due to traffic. it was night, and i remember a well lit tunnel and his dark shadow in the driver's seat.

i was at my grandparents house in mexico for vacation the summer he got sick. one night, i woke up in the middle of the night crying. i didn't know why and couldn't explain it to my grandparents. according to my grandma, i said i was sad and felt like crying. the next day, my mom called with the news that my uncle had passed.

i may not have many memories of him; i don't remember his voice or how he walked. i don't remember the last time i saw him. i do, though, still remember the sense of loss and the sadness i felt then and whenever i wonder where life would have taken him had he been given more time.

i'm getting this on a t-shirt

2008-08-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

cause in life, all we need is a witness.
-sara

that which i love, i also fear

2008-08-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

as angel plays on pandora, i'm reminded of my childhood and my beloved pink boombox and the fisher-price tape player that preceded it. i spent many an afternoon, in my room, with a pencil in hand, singing and dancing in front of the mirror accompanied by my tape player. i loved those tape players. i think, though, what i loved more was the joy singing along to my favorite song of the moment gave me. as a child, whether or not i was good was never an issue. i sang and danced with the reckless abandon that only a 7 year old could. in my mind, i was just as good as those junior vocalists on star search. it wasn't until i tried out for choir in the 4th grade (and didn't see my name on the list of those who made it) that i began to think otherwise.

as i grew older, and moved from bath to shower, and as my boombox got bigger and upgraded from tape only to tape & CD, my boombox started accompanying me into the bathroom. behind closed doors, with the water running, i was able to sing along to lucero de méxico in the same way i sang along to like a virgin when i was 7. the intimacy of the shower freed me to be the mariachi diva i knew i was meant to be. she never surfaced in my high school days. low self-esteem is a crippling bastard.

in my 20's, sick of lingering self-doubt and the remnant teasing from my college friends, i took a couple of singing lessons. mentally, i don't think i was ready to hear how truly awful i was. so i went back to acting classes. mainly because it didn't hurt so bad when i fucked up, everyone did. my desire to be on stage was fed but, without singing, was never truly satiated.

so, this year, the year in music, i'm learning to play the piano on the advice of the voice teacher i had. in june, i had my first voice lesson of my 30's and in a week i'll have my first group vocal lesson. not really the same as singing like a prayer at the mint and definitely not the same as singing in the shower. i think i'm prepared for the work i have ahead of me, but nevertheless, self-conscience and scared out of my mind.

only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
-dorothy thompson

as heard in the office

2008-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

"the weather is so unpredictable. i never know what to wear when i walk [my dog]. one morning i put on a heavy turtleneck and fleece vest and i was too warm and the next morning i put on a lighter turtleneck and thinner fleece vest and it was too cold."

am i the only person who finds this hysterical?

thanks, but no thanks

2008-08-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

while on vacation i got a call for an interview for a job i really, really, really, really wanted. i got denied today. what really sucks is that i've been giving my boss the cold shoulder for some time now and we recently had a conversation about why. so after telling her she sucked i was hoping to shove my resignation letter in her face this week.

looks like the secret doesn't really work after all.

out of sight, out of mind

2008-08-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

man, it's been too long. i wish i could say that i was whisked away from my dull life by my principe azul, shia "stud muffin" labeouf, and we were so busy gettin it on that i couldn't get to a computer. i mean, i could say that, but that would be an untruth. i may lie to you, but i would never say an untruth.

july is vacation month and this year i spent it in san diego, at comic-con 2008. yes friends, this year i wore my inner nerd like a cape, flying heroically in the breeze. my brothers and i had been planning this trip since i bought the 4-day passes last november. yup, i bought the tickets 8 months in advance.

i'm not into comics or manga or collectibles. so why would i go? let me count the ways...
1 - i bought and viewed all three extended editions of "lord of the rings" upon release and watched every special feature included in the 4 discs.
2 - i love mystery science theater 3000. we bought the VHS tape of the movie and watched it obsessively. it's currently playing on HBO. in the past month, i've watched it 4 times. to quote the movie, "whoopty shit".
3 - the clerks cartoon is possibly the funniest cartoon ever created. kevin smith is a god.
4 - the day after a new episode of "lost", i spend the good part of the day online reading recaps, forums and theories. this usually entails having lostpedia up all day.

so that's just an abridged list. i left off my love of "the simpsons", "family guy" and "star wars", because really, who doesn't love that stuff. am i right? anyways, while comic-con had miles of comic book vendors for my bros, it also offered many a delicious panel, ripe with humor and occasional hot guys. the lines were long and, often times, slow, but we were able to get in to most panels.

panels worth mentioning

family guy - thanks to a hilarious clip we all left knowing that, in fact, the bird IS the word.
entertainment weekly's visionary panel - kevin smith, judd apatow and microphones. heaven.
mystery science theater 20 year reunion - comedy gods.
lost - held in the biggest hall at the convention center (6,500 seats), i waited in line for an hour and a half. i finally got in and seated half way through the panel. just in time to see matthew fox. he sucks, but that's kinda cool anyways.

semi-worth mentioning is the simpsons panel, if only for the clip. come on, you can't have a panel and not have any of the voice actors. that's just wrong.

panels nerdier people who waited longer got to see that i/we didn't

bones - i love this show...and david boreanaz's sweet ass.
the ghost whisperer - my bi-montly visits to my parents house start with a little JLove and her hecka cute outfits. followed by whatever novela is on at 9pm.
smallville/supernatural - this one really hurt my brother, tito. these are his favorite shows, and about hundreds of other people's too. they stopped letting people in at one point and he just waited. broke my heart. no joke.

so that, plus a trip to sea world where a crazy asshole seagull jumped on our table and ate my hamburger, was my vacation.

try to not play this over and over...

2008-07-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

change location, change attitude

2008-07-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

so, in august, i will celebrate my 3 year anniversary at my present job. i'm hoping to not reach that milestone.

i've been rather indifferent about this job since the beginning. i walked out of the interview thinking "man, that bitch is irritating as fuck!", referring to my current boss. i can read people like a book. it's a gift. i should have listened to that feeling, but the allure of more skrilla and not being somewhere i hated was just too tempting. so the newness of it all faded quickly. after a full academic year, i had learned most of what i needed to know and just coasted by. my boss grew more and more irritating. (how many fucking times do i have to hear about the camping trips you take with your dog?) i spent more and more time online and the monotony grew into indifference.

within the last 6 months, that indifference turned into all out rage so i actively started looking for a job. on thursday, i turned in my application for what, on paper, seems like a perfect job. i got a call today. i have an interview on monday.

right before i dropped off my application i called my mom. she just finished reading "the secret" by rhonda byrne and i asked her to use her new found powers to hook a sista up. SECRET!

stupid bitchism of the worst kind.

2008-07-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

last night i was having a deep conversation with my main g, keeks, about stuff. you know deep stuff. during the course of the conversation i made the following remark:

now, with everything i do, i ask myself "is this something a stupid bitch would do? if it is, i do the opposite.

this lead to my confession that one of my worst fears in life is being considered a stupid bitch. this may be worse than my fear of someone thinking i smell. (i shower everyday but if you had the freaskish sweat disorder that i have then you'd consider it a valid fear too.) at least there's something you can do about smelling. stupid bitchism is fatal.

say it with me now!

i will not be a stupid bitch.

i guess you can call it my creed in life. my guiding principle.

i didn't always follow this creed. i was once a stupid bitch, or at least (i hope), did things stupid bitches do. i won't go into specifics as i'm at work and don't want to remember things and be found in the fetal position under my cubicle...but let's just say i knew one too many guys who had spent some time behind bars. yeah, i said guyS. anyways, that's all in the past. a prehistoric MsMonis. i've evolved into someone who thinks differently about stuff and herself. i'm not saying i'm better, or even that i'm that different than who i was. i just think more about who i am and how i want the world to see me. it's not that i care what people think of me, but honestly, it's not like i don't care. i want an active part in how people perceive me and my actions.

plus, let's face the facts. i judge. all things. all people. if there was a supreme court in the land of judgementalness, i would be chief justice. i'd win the olympic gold medal in the 100yd judge-atholon. it's this thing i do. i know it, you know it, the american people know it. i can't really in good conscience judge the stupid bitchism of others if i'm running around screwing married men, taking my top off for Joe Francis or being a Kardashian.

hooray for bollywood!

2008-07-10T11:03:00.001-07:00

i hate people.

2008-07-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

that's nothing new. all my friends know this. it's who i am. it's how i see the world. if you think that's sad then suck it! i probably hate you already anyway.

my boss has developed an obsessive habit of cutting her fingernails at her desk. it's a daily thing. i really don't know how long her nails, or anyones for that matter, grow on a daily basis, but everyday i hear "snip, snip, snip, snip". everyday in between shopping for new furniture or checking camping sites online and telling everyone that calls her how overwhelmed and busy she is, she's cutting her GD fingernails in her messy, dusty ass office. EVERYDAY. AT HER DESK. i understand that it's a basic grooming activity. everyone does it. but it's one of those things that should be kept strictly in the bathroom, or at least at home. are you really that busy when you get home at night that you can't wait? why do you even have nail clippers at work? the last thing i want is to walk into your office while your clipping away and have a piece of nail hit me in the eye. from the way you leave shit around the office without putty it away, i sincerely doubt you make the effort to make sure all the scraps end up in the garbage. my disgust of you knows no bounds.

word of the day

2008-07-01T14:13:00.000-07:00

ennui

en·nui
: a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction, boredom

tell me about it.

racist, schmacist

2008-06-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

if it's racist to notice that a large percentage of public nose-pickers is of a certain persuasian then consider me a klansmen...and totally grossed the fuck out!

pandora...my salvation

2008-06-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

have you guys heard of this dice thing called pandora? it's basically an online customizable music station. it's basically keeping me from taking everyone out at work.

about 3 years ago, before i realized just how important renter's insurance was, my apartment was broken into and my beloved ibook was stolen. not only was my at-home internet access taken, but also a way to add music to my ipod. i made due with making CD's on my brother PC and using my girl, jen's, imac to upload music sporadically. but now jen's computer, and jen, are in spain. i, unfortunately, can't afford a computer yet and, even more unfortunate, don't have any friends that have a mac. plugging into a PC is not an option as there are songs on my ipod that were not saved on a CD. so, my ipod remains at 1,717 songs from 2007 and before...

i had heard about pandora from people at work whose musical tastes i didn't necessarily share, so it didn't register as something i would be interested in. earlier this year, sara mentioned it during one of our gchats. i thought, "she seems neat, i'm bored with the 'that thing you do! soundtrack' that's been on repeat for 2 weeks, i'll give it a try!".

so the first thing you do is create a station by typing in a song title or artist that you like. i let me authentic self decide for me and typed in LISA LISA & CULT JAM. what followed was 6 hours of musical diceness that i had not experienced since the mix tape i made in the summer of 87. lisa lisa, stevie b, shannon, seduction, exposé, trinere. all my childhood memories in one place! i may have shed a tear or two.

from there, my stations grew. bell biv devoe station, 4 minutes station, shakira station, even a hall & oates stations for those easy listening days. the greatest part, when a song comes on that's hitz, you can tell pandora you don't like it and it will NEVER PLAY IT AGAIN! it's like a dictatorship and i'm drunk with power!

pandora has helped me get through my increasingly mind numbing days and has also reminded me that the shit they play on the radio here in the bay area is not representative of what's actually out there. while i don't have the most discriminating taste, i do, as you know, like stuff that is dice. pandora let's me remember the good ol' days of new jack swing and reminisce on the love i have of freestyle. it has also opened my eyes to artists like miguel bose and rbd. how did i live without mi amante bandido?

what i'm trying to get across is that pandora is dice and there's just no other way around it.

2008-06-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

i know you seen me on powell street (true)...i had to let you know that I got a crush on you...

2008-06-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

dear security guard at the union square BofA,

i have a crush on you. it may not seem like it when i'm dragging myself up powell street and pass you, but i do. i'm the girl who walks up that small grade like it was mount everest and sweats like roger ebert. i think i have a medical condition. i also totally stare at you until you look my way. we've made eye contact 5 times. i've counted. i've also thought about smiling once. but i don't want to scare you off by being too forward.

anyways, underneath that sweet, sweet sweat, is a girl that's funny, passionate, semi-artistic and kinda neat. i also clean up pretty nice. i'm hoping that that one day that i'm wearing a skirt, have my hair and make-up done and need cash, you'll be there.

one day, i'll get the courage to accidentally bump into you. i'll say "sorry", you may or may not say anything. either way it will be the best conversation ever.

sincerely,
MsMonis

bringin back the old school...

2008-06-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

i have new found respect for little olivia kendall.

it should come as no surprise...

2008-06-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

the rainbow flags went up along market street 2 weeks ago which means it's june and g pride is all up on us. it's here, it's queer, and i'm more than used to it. living in san francisco, with both my girl and boy BFF's gay as the good lord made them, i can't help but feel happy to live in a city where the chances they'll be gaybashed by a swarm of nazi skinhead klan memebers is considerably less than say bumfuck, oklahoma. it's also neat to know that, in this same city, i can see bare asses on a float in the middle of a major street one sunday every june. warm fuzzies, indeed. this year brings a special treat as i will not only be attending the parade and festival with my main g, keeks, but also his GBF from college, peter. he who hooks us up with all kinds of music and fun videos. (well, he hooks keeks up. i just benefit from sloppy seconds. i have no shame.)

did you know that some lesbos got married at city hall yesterday? those kooky kids.

so anyways, in the midst of all this gayness, how can one not get all swept up. i mean, the pride parade is the one SF annual event that i make a point of attending. i've never been to the chinese new year's parade, i have yet to attend carnaval. maybe it's because neither can boast past perfomances by en vogue and exposé. or maybe because there's no promise of 2 men dry humping in the middle of a gloria trevi performance...we may never know.

it wasn't until i was grooving to pandora at work and crystal waters came on that i knew why i hearted the gays so much. i knew that, while not gay in the sexual preference sense, on the inside i was a gay man. i've been one for years. it could have started with my love of musicals as a child. sure the 1st was "muppets take manhattan", but a musical is a musical is a musical. and if, my idol at the time, ms. piggy wasn't diva enough for gay iconhood then i don't know who was. which reminds me, "9 to 5" was one of my favorite movies thanks to early 80's HBO. hello? dolly parton? kathy griffin on "suddenly susan"? HILARIOUS. then there's the fact that i loved this and was obsessed with this. i would have to say, though, that my inner g was born on october 11, 1988; the day of my 11th birthday and the first national coming out day.

coincidence? fate? nothing to do with anything? you decide.

slowly spiraling into bankruptcy...

2008-06-05T12:41:00.000-07:00

i never fancied myself a good money manager. i have a retirement account and an IRA that i never touch, which is good. but i have a credit card with a 5 digit balance and a savings account with a balance that fluctuates up and down, not steadily up as one would desire.

part of the problem is that i'm of the mind that i shouldn't deprive myself of things that i want/desire/covet. i buy in moderation of course. i mean shit, i have some self-control. which is why i haven't bought this or this. what but can i say, i like stuff...nice stuff.

so last month i dropped my beloved nikon d50 (with brand new tamron lens attached). the lens walked away without a scratch, but the camera body, not so much. i'd like to mention that i spent many hours debating new lens vs. new camera earlier in the year. new lens won since i didn't "need" it, my camera was working fine. i appreciate the irony, but curse it nonetheless. so i researched and posted on forums and cried. then i posted on forums, cried and researched. in the end, i realized what the universe had wanted for me all along and upgraded to a nikon d300 and deepened my debt.

then came the announcement of madonna's sticky and sweet tour in the fall with a november stop in oakland. i first experienced a madonna concert in 2004 from a decent, but still hitz, balcony seat. the experience had a major impact on me (it's still one of the best nights of my life) and it was then that i vowed that: 1- i will always attend a madonna concert and 2- it's floor seats or death! keeks and i were able to get floor seats for confessions and decided to join the fan club this year to be eligible for presale tickets. after some hitzness with "legacy" vs. "platinum" members we were able to get floor seats and make madonna $800 richer. unfortunately, they weren't as good as our confessions seats. so we took advantage of another fan club only sale and got 2 more better seats for her 2nd night in oakland. so now, we have floor seats for both nights. madonna: +$800 MsMonis: -$800

i'm going to san diego with my brothers for 5 days in july; plane tickets & hotel already paid. but i'm also planning a trip to the east coast for my birthday and one to barcelona in the spring. i also need to find a way to pay my rent and buy groceries. it's obvious which of those is a "need" and which is a "want". but i guess it depends on who you're asking, my brain or my soul. and judging from the amount of debt i've accrued, my soul wins out every time.

in case you were wondering...

2008-05-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

i couldn't help but wonder...

2008-05-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

so it's a week and a day until the SATC movie premieres. a week and a day that might as well be a year and a month. with the exception of the confessions tour CD+DVD, it's been a VERY long time since i've been this excited about a movie. sure after spending a whole day watching the extended versions of the first two LOTR movies, i was beside myself with anticipation to see "the return of the king". and sure the long awaited simpsons movie came out last summer. but it doesn't compare to the growing feelings of excitement and anticipation i'm feeling right now. excitement may not be the right word here. like, my heads gonna explode i can't wait for this damn movie to start.

i first fell in love with SATC watching the end of a season 3 marathon on HBO. i immediately logged onto amazon to get what i needed: the 1st season DVDs. i really don't know what it was about these stupid white bitches that i loved so much. maybe it was their shiny hair and flawless makeup. maybe it was their manolos and slutty ways. it's not like i identified with them or even liked them. there was just something about the show, a certain je nais se quoi. fascination won the best of me.

for a number of reasons, i'm feeling like this is a low point in my life. my boss is unbearable, my good friend moved to spain, accumulating too many dateless saturday nights to count...there are few things that are keeping my spirits up.

madonna in oakland, piano, keeks, my new camera and this movie. sounds like the perfect prozac to me.

oh, and if you were wondering, i'm a miranda.

i'm MsMonis and i approve this message.

2008-05-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

there's still one gentleman left in the city...

2008-05-20T17:16:00.001-07:00

if you've been to the burger king in civic center you know it sees it's fair share of less than desirable clientele. but today there was at least one guy there that was surely raised right by his mama.

we were both headed to the exit and he stepped in front of me, not to be a jerk and exit first, but to open the door. surprised, i smiled and thanked him.

i'm sure this type of thing happens often. i'm sure in the south it happens every time a woman walks through a door. but why did it stick out in my mind so much? was it the neighborhood? venue? the fact that men rarely hold the door open for me? (except keeks, thanks to his militant gentelmanly ways.)

it's not even a big thing. he held the door open for me. big whoop. it's not like i can't do it. it's not like i expect it to be done for me. i've lived the greater part of my life hating everyone and believing that, quite simply, people suck. but there was something in that small gesture that made an otherwise unbearable day not so damn soul-sucking. i'm not recording an album or on the set of the new ricky gervais comedy, but at least for that moment i wasn't invisible.

so thank you fine sir in the yellow snow jacket. thanks for inspiring this post.

OMG! OMG! OMG!

2008-05-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

MADONNA'S STICKY & SWEET TOUR WILL BE COMING TO THE OAKLAND COLISEUM ON NOVEMBER 1ST! IT WILL BE BART ACCESSIBLE! IT WILL BE ON A SATURDAY! KEEKS AND I JUST MADE THE CUT OFF FOR PRESALE ELIGIBILITY!

IT'S! JUST! SO! DICE!!!!

MsMonis reviews "hard candy" by madonna

2008-04-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

i got madonna's new album today. it's been on repeat on my work computer all day. i think i've ingested enough of it to give my honest opinion.

now, i know you 10(s) of readers out there are wondering how i am able to listen to an album that doesn't get released until april 29th. mind your own damn business, reader(s)! oh and on a totally unrelated topic, thanks peter! you rule!

so, awhile back i got a leaked version of track 8 on the album, beat goes on. like a number of her songs, the lyrics left much to be desired, but the beat was DICE! i was immediately hooked and giddy with anticipation to see what she would follow "confessions" up with. and don't get me started with 4 minutes. i got the version played on air in france and was hooked. i played that shit over and over and over again, and i think i have the french spoken over it memorized. my love of marching band horns knows no bounds!

ok, so i'm happy to report that "hard candy" is 50 mins of pure unadulterated DICENESS! (there's one absolutely HITZ song that reduces the time for pleasure.) i know many people (he who shall remain nameless, KEEKS) were apprehensive of the direction madonna was going with this album. but, luckily, she didn't stray too far from authentic madonna: sassy, funky white girl who loves to spin. she kept it real by producing a fun dance album.

MsMonis' dice list:
she's not me hands down the best song on the album. whistles, claps, disco-y, funky, made me do the electric slide all over my apartment.
heartbeat good dance beat, with a hint of freestyle mixed in. the breakdown is dice and i love the "til my booty get down" part.
beat goes on a completely different version than the leaked one i mentioned earlier. while i love the the other version a tad bit more (stupid lyrics and all) this version does not disappoint. get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat...totally.
4 minutes obviously
miles away yearningly, melancholy lyrics, booty shaking beat. best of both worlds.
spanish lesson oh madonna, your love of latinos makes me forgive your pronunciation of spanish.

MsMonis' hitz list:
give it 2 me i gave it 2 good listens before deciding that this will be the one i skip past. i read that this is a pharrell track too, which is disappointing.
devil wouldn't recognize you while i technically like this song and think it's good, i just can't get past the timbaland stench that infests it. and this is coming from a women who still bumps his first 2 albums on her ipod.

so that's it friend(s). madonna is dice and that's pretty much all there is to it. if you don't think so then the terrorists have won, because someone obviously hates freedom.

MsMonis is not a licensed music critic, but someone who likes things that are dice.

what's cal-koo-lus?

2008-04-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

i am woman, hear me roar

2008-04-08T17:34:00.001-07:00

nothing can get your panties in a wad more than hearing your own grandfather say the words "no woman is going to tell me..." in a sentence.

luckily, all i inherited from him was big earlobes.

i remember way back when...

2008-03-31T11:12:00.000-07:00

i never got a chance to go to KMEL summer jam as a kid. didn't attend any school dances other than freshman homecoming and senior prom. i blame most of that on my parents moving us to benicia...it's a long complicated story, but if you know me you know how that makes sense.

regardless, i still fondly remember that magical time in the late 80's and early 90's when music meant something to me. when you could turn on 'in living color' to learn a cool dance move from the fly girls (pre JLo). when i would record 'yo! mtv raps' after school for my brother to watch when he got home from work. when bell biv devoe rapped about needing a 'body bag' and my 12 year old ass had no idea what they were talking about.

so, when BBD, tony toni tone and keith sweat came to oaktown for the 'ladies night out tour' i quickly sent out a call to the 2 friends in SF that both had a hip-hop-on-an r&b-tip-with-a-pop appeal to them.

the rest is moet.

they don't make music like this anymore

2008-03-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

did that really just happen?

2008-03-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

i woke up VERY late today. got to my bus stop at around 9:30am. as i'm striking a fierce pose waiting for the bus, a man in a mustard colored pimp suit with "fur" hat offers me some shiny faux-lexes. i shake my head no and he moves on to the next muni patron.

when did i move to time square?

it makes me dance

2008-03-06T11:54:00.001-08:00

it's really worth it afterall

2008-03-06T10:14:00.001-08:00

branding
Originally uploaded by MsMonis

i got a little present in the mail yesterday. a nikkor 60mm f2.8 micro lens. it's everything i dreamed of and more.

special shout out to uncle sam for giving me back what's mine.

my liz lemon moment

2008-03-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

i was just helping a student at the counter and glanced down to notice a piece of lettuce in my hair...

one day we'll be together liz lemon...it's density.

is it wrong to have nice things?

2008-02-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

so i kinda have a little obsession and i've been obsessing over this obsession all day.

i obsess over all things camera related.

this obsession has made me spend a large part of my tax return.

did i mention that i don't have my tax return yet?

what?

back off.

i don't need your judgement.

and the oscar goes to...

2008-02-25T12:04:00.001-08:00

photoshoot
Originally uploaded by MsMonis

i'm not the only one who practices my oscar speech in front of the mirror on a regular basis, right?

what?

really?

oh...

shitty day, but then i saw this...

2008-02-22T15:39:00.000-08:00

it's been a pretty "meh" day. got a headache. hate my job. wondering if i can can squeeze in new white sneakers (nike's? k-swiss?) in next month's budget. then i checked my homegirl's blog and saw this.

taking everyone out with a machete will just have to wait until my millionth viewing.

stupid fresh!

2008-02-15T11:46:00.000-08:00

this baby is way better than you.

a valentine, from me to you

2008-02-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

no seré
julieta venegas

no seré, una mujer perfecta
de las que volteas al ver pasar
no seré, alta y maravillosa
pero sé lo que puedo hacer...

no sabré andar como una princesa
ni vivir como en alta sociedad
y no sé engañar a tu corazón
pero sé que te puedo hacer...
...feliz

y aunque muchas veces no se lo que quiero
y aunque digas sé que veo todo negro
no quiero irme de aqui
para estar cerca de tí
porque sé que te puedo hacer... feliz

ha-pee valentimes!

2008-02-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

another year brings me no flowers, no box of chocolates, no reservations at a romantic restaurant. just another night with my *G* BF, keeks. we'll go see step up 2 the streets (what a stupid title) and then a rose-mantic dinner at...denny's? mel's? chevy's? definitely somewhere with a possessive apostrophe in the name. over dinner we'll discuss what things will be like when we finally make it, hollywood style, how *dice* we are, why everyone else sucks. during the movie, we'll make witty, sarcastic comments, comment on dance moves, and wish that the 14 year old "urban" kids next to us would shut up. the world is our single person's oyster.

but, i couldn't help but wonder, what would valentine's be like to spend with a heterosexual male? it's sadly never been an option in my life. yes, dear reader(s), MsMonis is unlucky in love. but what single, neurotic girl in the city isn't...are you with me?

does it really matter that i don't have a valentine? i mean they don't even know if st. valentine was one actual person or many? so, who gives a crap he/they has a day. they can be facist anarchists and it still wouldn't change the fact that i don't have a date. my singularity (if you will) has long ago comforted me to the fact that it's just another day, no matter what hallmark tries to tell me. i've come to realize that it's the other holidays/special days, where it matters. and it's not about having a BF. it's about being around the people you really truly <3, and who really truly <3 you. sure, it'd be awesome to have someone to make-out with tomorrow. but it could never beat the love i feel when i sit down with my family to have thanksgiving dinner. or the joy i feel sitting in a theater, watching a shitty b-movie with my main *G*.

who knows. maybe someday, the person i make-out with can squeeze into the seat next to mine.

people who should die

2008-01-31T11:24:00.000-08:00

and now it's time for the segment in our show i like to call people who should die.

smokers. yeah, that's right, i'm talking to you, you disgusting pieces of trash. not only are you trash but you're flippin' idiots who are killing yourselves. oh, and not only that, but you are killing those around you. GREAT JOB!

what's that you say, it's a free country...you have the right to smoke and kill yourselves if you want? fuck you. you're free country having right is not just your problem. especially not when i'm walking down the hill to catch the bus and i'm stuck behind your cigarette puffing ass. did you know that when you blow out the smoke it doesn't magically disappear? it blows in my face, you asshole! oh, and when you're at the bus stop, there's a thing called wind that carries the smoke over to other people. and i have to breathe it in, you selfish prick! oh and i see you parent who smokes around their child. i feel an asthma attack coming on just thinking about the damage you're doing to your poor kid's lungs. i hope CPS take your kid away from your murdering ass!

here's to wishing you die a slow painful death...but i guess that's a bit redundant, isn't it?

cool, a spork! don't hurt me!

2008-01-30T11:20:00.001-08:00

cool, a spork!
Originally uploaded by MsMonis

(quote courtesy of The Simpson, episode: Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood)

hi. it's me, MsMonis. remember me? it's been almost 3 years now since we last talked. i know you feel abandoned & let down. and i know i'm the cause of your pain. is it my inability to follow through? my desire to not seem vain? my complete and total laziness? maybe it's all three, or maybe it's like a lot the last one and a little bit of the first 2. either way, i'm back and asking you to give me a second chance. i was foolish. i didn't realize how important you were to me. you WERE a creative outlet! you ARE a valid form of expression. you aren't just a vanity project. someone who's half filipino/half white once told me we were good together. despite envidence to the contrary about her kind (nia peeples, rob schneider, vanessa hudgens), she makes a lot of sense! did you notice the pic? reminded me of one of my favorite lines from the simpsons, and there was no one else i wanted to share it with. i hope you like it.

what's that? you want me back too? non-capitalization and all! i promise you that i won't let you down again. we'll do things right this time!!! we'll mix it up so it won't get boring! we'll be that couple everyone wants to be!!!! we'll go nuts with ellipses and exclamation marks and run-on sentences...!!!!!!!!

alright, so....yeah...what do ya wanna talk about?

Back from the dead...

2005-07-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

or how mones got her writing groove back and re-embraced her love of ellipses...

hello friends! wow, i can't believe how long it's been since i've posted. thanks to my friend jen, i got the itch (ewww, not that kind) to start writing again. maybe writing is my calling. maybe i'm just vain and think that what i have to say is something people would be interested in. either way, i still come out good.

since we last left our heroine...

god, where to begin. i mean really, not a whole fucking lot has happened in my life or ever really does. hence the inactivity. i mean since december i've fallen in love with the office (UK) and re-connected with strangers with candy. javi finished his baking and pastry program and my mom got a chihuahua for mother's day. my parents and uncle frankie bought a house they are fixing up and i will soon be without a car for the first time in 12 years. oh and two blasts from the pasts came back into my life and are here to stay [well, one i know for sure (hi vinnie!) and the other i'm hoping does)...

yeah so i guess shit has happened...get over it.

sittin' on the edge of my bed...

2004-12-16T21:50:00.000-08:00

wasting time.

i just got done watching the OC and reading forum posts discussing the episode. yes, i am a nerd. north shore is on TV. it sucks.

i'm finally able to get online at club ocho (aka my apartment) after a very trying and difficult ordering and installation process. since i have an airport express card in my swanky iBook and the fact that the phone jack is inconveniently located, i ordered a wireless modem. i was so excited after i ordered the service and modem back in november. everyday i would dream of chillin' on the futon or dining table downloading songs from iTunes or writing my weekly sex column for a trashy, free city newspaper. in my dreams i would be wireless. only plugging in to charge the battery, for iBook cannot run on love alone.

yeah, so none of that is happening.

stupid, incompetant SBC fucked up my modem order TWICE! and changed the date that DSL service would be available. when i finally got the right modem last friday (a month after i originally ordered it) i had to wait until wednesday to actually be able to activiate my account. i got online and then had issues with setting up the wireless network. after a call to a very wierd SBC technical support rep, i got wireless. but now for some dumb reason i have to sit on my bed about a foot away from the modem to actually get this shit to work. i finally gave up and plugged in the ethernet cable which really sucks cause this modem cost me $50. the non-wireless modem was free.

so now the 10 o'clock news is on TV (i heart dennis richmond!) and i'm sitting on my bed, online not wireless.

i guess it could be worse. i could have dial-up AOL.

uno, dos, tres, catorce!

2004-12-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

hello, hello...HOLA!

hello friends. i'm back after a self-imposed hiatus. i've just been soo busy with my fabulous life of learning how to cook for myself and watching TV and netflix rentals that i needed a break from the blogger world. so, what have i been obsessing over the last month or so? LOTS. and luckily for you, it's pretty much all TV related. i love TV.

america's next top model rocked my world this season. eva won!!! i love her. she was definitely my favorite. maybe it's cause, like most sistas on reality TV (and like myself), she kept it real. maybe not. but either way, i'm glad she won and that biotch yaya lost. god, i hate her. eva just has something that's very appealing. she's pretty but not intimidating. her skin is beautiful and she has amazing eyes. i have a girl crush on eva. yes, i take this shit very serious. (or is it seriously?)

and now that ANTM is finished, i can devote my full and complete attention to arrested development. a show i place second only to the simpsons. i'm re-watching the first season thanks to netflix and i have to say it's so much better than i remember it. there are so many little things you miss when it first airs. it's the smartest comedy out there. the cast is amazing and dare i say it, jason bateman is kinda cute...kinda. never saw it on the hogans. maybe i was too distracted by sandy duncan's glass eye. i also have a girl crush on portia di rossi. anyways, people who don't like this show are the dumbest people in the world.

TV on DVD is one of the greatest thing ever. EVER.

let's see...what else do we talk about...

javi is finally in full force pastry chef mode. he's in the second section of the program, cakes. last weekend he brought home a tiramisu cake. (insert homer simpson gurgle.) he came home yesterday with all kinds of chocolate splattered on his uniform. he looked like he knifed a bitch. the other week he brought home a chocolate decadence cake. it was ecstasy. breads are next. YES!

this is kind of awesome...

2004-11-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

i found this link on someone else's blog.

it may be old but i still thought it was worth sharing.

Fuck the South!

;-)

so, now that i've moved into my new place

2004-11-18T13:04:00.000-08:00

i think i'm too good to write in my blog??? yes, yes i am.

totals JK, homies. i've actually got nothing to say. i've logged on everday this week and could not come up with one damn thing to write. i believe there are 2 reasons why.

numbah 1 - my 'boss' is out on vacation until the end of november. he's been gone for a week now and it's been pure unadulterated heaven! i've been reading everything that the internet has to offer. i heart the internet.

numbah 2 - i'm not really as stressed out as i used to be. as a result, there isn't much in me that needs to be released into creative energy. life - stress = no blog entries.

aside from my cool friends' blogs (i'm talking about you amber, sara, and jen, you fine sexy thangs) i've also become addicited to 3 entertainment related blogs. Go Fug Yourself is awesome if you are into talking shit about celebrities who dress badly. THE POOL HOUSE is awesome if you are obsessed with the most awesome show on TV, The OC. and last and certainly will never be considered the least in my heart and mind, my BF, zach braff's blog for the movie 'garden state'. people, i'm in love with this guy. he is amazing. and don't think i'm hopping on the 'garden state' bandwagon. i've loved him since the very first episode of scrubs. i will beat down any bitch that talks shit or says that they love him too.

one day he will be mine. oh yes, he will be mine!

DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!

2004-11-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

i've sorta been here for years.

i'm here and in full swing of my new life in san francisco. it's not really 'new'. it's really like 'mones in SF, part 3'. but i have a feeling that this is the one that really counts.

the most exciting part about my new place is the awesome bed i purchased at sleep train. it's the most comfortable bed on the planet. it's firm, but not too firm. it's high, but not too high. it's white, but not too white. you guys know what i mean. my mom, being the coolest mom in the world that she is, bought me a nice bed frame. i haven't had a bed frame since my canopy bed when i was eight. oh wait, there was that day bed i had in college. does that count? anyways, it's neat. and very grown-up.

on monday, while getting ready to go to safeway, javi and i were listening to howard and a traffic report came on. javi turns to me and says, 'you don't have to worry about that anymore.' i think that's when i was finally able to relax and smile again. ;-)

everyday around the world, we're coming to america...

2004-11-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

the election is over. i've had my day of bitching and moaning. i'm done talking about it. it's now time to deal. i can hate the rest of the country for electing that moron all i want. it's a known fact that the farther away from the coasts you get the more retarded and backward the people. i live in the bay area, and don't ever plan on moving to oklahoma (or the central valley for that matter), so those rednecks can live in their trailers and have sex with their cousins all they want.

it doesn't change the fact that although i hate this country for what they did on november 3, 2004, there's no where else i would ever want to live. this is my home. and, for what it's worth, i owe this country my existence.

my parents came to the US in the 60's. my dad came to california via guanajuato via mexico city via texas. he toiled in the fields of the central valley before moving on up to the big city, san francisco, to actually make money in construction. he soon found work and made friends with union folk who got him. i'm proud to say that my father has laid brick (not in that way you perves) in many a location throughout the city. those bricks you walk on down market street. some of those are my dad. my mom came with her family from jalisco and took a bus from san ysidro all the way up to san francisco. she arrived in the wee hours of the morning, only to wake up a couple hours later for her first day of school. not knowing the city or the language.

my parents had it tough. they did what they could to survive. my mom only made it till 10th grade before she got married and had my older brother, henry. my dad, who didn't make it past the 3rd grade before he had to go out and work for his family, had to get past the disadvantage of little education to keep up with his fellow union members.

they met in an ESL class at mission high in 1976. the rest is me...

i often think of what my life would have been like had my parents never come. i obviously wouldn't be alive. they met here. but taking into account where my parents came from, i know what my future would have been. a hard life with little opportunity. not really caring about foreign policy or what the people in another state thought. just trying to survive.

i'm american. it's undeniable. it's part of who i am. the man they happened to elect president does NOT define me. this story does...and it's only part of it.

highway to hell

2004-11-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

i change my mind.

i hate this country.

i don't know what you've been told...

2004-11-02T14:16:00.000-08:00

but bush in office is gettin' old!

election day is upon us. one of the few events where i feel like draping the american flag over my shoulders and singing the national anthem. when i'm the proudest to be born in this country, the daughter of immigrants. the other being whenever the US wins a gold medal in the olympics. USA! USA! USA!

anyways, CNN is really pissing me off by not having any election results posted yet. i can't be at home glued in front of my beloved TV today. give me something...ANYTHING!

did anyone else catch kerry and bush being interviewed by don francisco during sabado gigante this past weekend?? now that's what i'm talkin about! not a lot of attention has been given to the latino vote. sure, it's all over noticiero univision, but i don't see anyone else making a big deal about it. maybe it's just me.

anyways, enough political shit. the emotional breakdown i was suffering in the last 2 entries is finally over. i will be signing my new lease in about 3 hours and moving into my apartment this weekend. the extravagant, jet-setting lifestyle i led while living rent free is no more. today is born a new me!!!!!

it's better to look at the glass as half-empty...

2004-10-29T13:49:00.000-07:00

that way you have no where to go but up.

looks like i won't be moving this weekend. the lease is not ready and will supposedly be written up today and mailed to me. which was not what was agreed upon but whatever. the property "manager" (in quotes cause he don't do shit!) told sara that he has to review the apartment before i move in. that's neat and all, but he's known all month that this was going to happen. this shit should have been settled already. but it's not and now my move/my life is on hiatus.

i would really like to tell them all to shove it up their asses, but i won't find a deal like that anywhere near the city. the price is decent, the studio is big, there's always street parking and it's about 50 steps to 2 muni lines. i guess i just need to put up with the long commute & gas prices a little bit more.

hopefully not much longer. it's getting harder and harder to control my road rage.

AAHHHHHH!

2004-10-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

ok, so the plan is (and has been) to move into my deluxe studio in the sky this weekend. saturday. october 30th. 30 hours from now. should i be worried that i don't have a lease yet??? cause i am.

worried is not really the word. I'M FUCKING FREAKING OUT. this whole month has just been a roller-coaster of emotions. i'm happy. i'm frustrated. i'm excited. i'm sad. i'm anxious. i'm mellow. i can't flippin take it anymore. one big obstacle that hung over my head had to do with javi (my youngest brother). he's starting a baking and pastry chef certificate program on november 1st at the california culinery academy. they may be a world renowned institution, but their admissions staff are a bunch of fuck-wads. and i know about fuck-wads. i work in admissions at fuck-wad state university. anyways, his financial aid didn't get settled until tuesday and it had my whole family's chonies in a wad. i don't remember having any problem with my financial aid. all i did was sign a whole bunch of paperwork. on the 5th of november i'll have payment 16 of 537,568 deducted from my checking account. NEAT!

so that's been taken care of and it truly is a great relief, but my futon is being delivered on saturday and I DON'T HAVE A LEASE. ok, i know, stop freaking out. everything will work out. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. i can't help but feel, though, like i'm stuck in limbo. it's not my apartment yet. but then again, it's not like it's not mine. they know i'm moving in. i have the keys. (thanks sara!) i just need things to be settled. i need the legality of my signature on a fucking piece of paper. i need money to be exchanged. i need it to be mine.

movin' on up...to a deluxe studio in SF

2004-10-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

so, as i touched upon in my last post, i'm moving back to the city after an 18 year (minus 6 months) hiatus. i have a feeling that this is it. the final jump out of the bird's nest i call 1## carlisle way. (the address has been hidden to protect Mones from stalkers.)

how do i feel about this? i'm definitely excited....a nervous kind of excited, but excited nonetheless. i think the financial aspects of it all are what's freaking me out the most, especially since i now have car payments. not cheap car payments. after i convince myself that i will be able to save money and budget (yeah, right) i'll then start to be sad about being away from my family. i know that sounds dumb. i'm 27 years old and i need to grow up and deal. but i find that the older i get the more attached to them i become. i think this has to do with the fact that the 90's were hard on my family. my brother married twice. my parents had to declare bankruptcy. tito and javi were really young and being raised by a series of central american 'nannies'. i fought a lot with my mom and then left for UOP. now, except for the fact that i sleep on the couch, everything is great.

but my delayed single girl in her 20's life and mental health need some attending to. my new digs are exactly 1.2 miles from work. until i find a new (read: better) job, my commute will be cut from 3-4 hours a day to about 20 mins. it's mind boggling. i still can't believe it. 20 freakin minutes! i'll be home everyday before 530pm. 530! it's INSANE! i think i'll start up a new hobbie. maybe i'll start going to the gym again.

so many possibilities. the world is my oyster.

go shorty, it (was) your birthday!

2004-10-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

we gonna party like it (was) your birthday...

another year has come and gone. yesterday, my friends, i turned 27. i can hardly believe it. what the hell happened? one minute i'm all pumped about turning 15 and finally being able to wear makeup (which was NOT a promise that was kept, thank you very much, MOM!) to sitting at my desk yesterday morning staring at my computer screen thinking, "God, i wish i was 15 again".

but wait a minute. do i really wish i was 15 again? don't i always complain about how awful my high school years were? aren't i traumatized enough? is that really a time i want to re-live?!

kinda...

of course it's always a wish amended with "knowing what i know now". knowing what i know now, i definitely would have re-thought some of my 'fashion' choices. i wouldn't have acted like such a desperate spaz a lot of the time. nor would i have all those extremely embarrasing moments that i keep locked away in my memory. you know the ones that sometimes find a way of getting out. and those feelings of embarrassment and humiliation take you over while you are sitting in traffic on I80 in emeryville and make you want to get out of your car, crawl over the center divider and walk head-on into oncoming traffic?! yeah, those.

but that can't happen. i'm 27 and my life is what it is. and what it is, is great. i have a loving family and great friends. 2 of the things that i love most in the world, yet 2 of the things i don't appreciate enough. i may hate my job but, not everyone is lucky enough to get a paycheck every month. a big plus: it's a state job. this means that no matter how much time i spend online and writing stuff for my blog, i can't get fired. i will soon move into a KICK ASS studio apartment courtesy of my friend, sara. her move is my gain ;-) life is pretty good.

i like to kick, streeeetch, and kick....I'M 27!!!

back in the day when i was young, i'm not a kid anymore...

2004-10-07T10:18:00.000-07:00

but somedays i sit and wish i was a kid again...

mcdonald's is giving out hello kitty toys with their happy meals. so far i've gotten the ballerina, the plush kitty and the calendar. they are sitting by my computer (but not in a sick rosie o'donnell-i-have-a-sick-obsession-with-happy-meal-toys-and throw-koosh-balls-at-people kind of way).

when i was in 2nd and 3rd grade i went to st. peter's catholic school in the mission. every year our teacher (i'd like to give a shout-out to mrs. reynolds and ms. rupp! what, what!) would give us a list of school supplies we were to have by the end of the first week of school. naturally, my mom would want to get all my supplies at the pak-n-save in colma. i would have to school her on the fact that anybody whose anybody gets their supplies at the hello kitty store on 24th. this is back in the day people, before it was known as sanrio. so, we compromised. we'd go to hello kitty first and spend a certain dollar amount and then get the rest at pak-n-save. i've often said that those 2 years at st. peter's were the best of my k-12 experience. every morning i'd walk to school with my cousins, mari and angelo. there were only 2 classes of each grade so everyone knew each other. all the girls in my grade would play high jump or chinese jump rope in the area between the school and the church. on fridays i'd order a grill cheese and salami sandwich and chocolate milk from the cafeteria. it was a safe and happy place. most of all, i was safe and happy.

...and hello kitty takes me back.

are there 4 or 7 horsemen of the apocalypse?

2004-10-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

cause i think i see #4 turning the corner.

remember how i said, waaaay back in my first post, that i have nothing to do at work? well, for the past couple of days i actually had shit to do. like, yesterday, my inbox was full ALL morning. like, i didn't even get to it till like 3pm?!?! i'm pretty anal retentive when it comes to stuff like that so being able to see a full inbox out of the corner of my eye and NOT be able to get to it right away was KILLING. ME. but, being the super classy, always sassy, smart biz-notch that i am, i was able to finish all my work by COB. (close of business, for those not with it enough to use business acronyms.) but, alas, my competence has foiled me again for i am once more seeking solence on www.blogger.com.

so....what else do we talk about?

it's just another manic monday.....

2004-10-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

i wish it were sunday....cause that's my fun day....

it's not really manic, though. i just don't know another song about mondays. except 'monday, monday' by the mamas and the papas, but i don't really know what the song is about. all i know is the chorus. don't want to reference it when i don't know what it's about. that would be dumb.

this morning actually started out ok. i left home at exactly 630am and made it into work and at my desk by 810am. i listened to michael moore promote his new book on howard stern this morning, i rocked out to 'nobody knows me' by madonna during the commercial break and i found street parking outside relatively quickly. the only bad part was this asshole in a mercedes that cut in front of me at the toll plaza. he looked like a 'todd'. like 'todd smith iv'. he probably has a trust fund and works at morgan stanley. i cursed him to hell.

so, i'm staring at my at-a-glance desk calendar. it's october. i'm looking at all the holidays. none of them, of course, being paid work holidays. the 15th is the first day of ramadan. ah-salaam-ah-ley-kim (i know that's not how you spell it, so shut up and ah-ley-kim-salaam me.) the 11th is thankgiving day in canada. stupid canadians. don't even know how to steal thanksgiving from us right. wait a minute....the 12th is 'day of the race' in mexico? what the fuck is that? is it some big marathon in mexico city that i've never heard of. did mexico get their own version of nascar? now is when i realize that it has been translated into english and that october 12th is dia de la raza.

it's funny how i don't automatically know to translate things. la raza is not a term that i would EVER translate into english, though. you really can't. it's one of the many terms that loses all meaning when you translate it. la raza isn't just a race of people. it's a mixing of 2 worlds and cultures to create one. mestizaje. it's the reason that i have blond, green eyed cousins in jalisco and why my uncle's skin is so dark he turns purple in the summer. no matter how much i talk shit, like it or not, la raza are my peeps.

MEXICA TIAHUI! VIVA LA RAZA!!!!!!!!

***this message has been brought to you by militant mones.

why the fuck did i even go to college then?!?!?!

2004-09-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

ok, so i've been actively job hunting since mid-september (when my 2 homegirls at work finally were able to crawl out of this bottomless pit of negativity and soul-sucking hopelessness). i miraculously received calls from the first 2 places i submitted my resume at.

i interviewed at holy names university in oak-town last tuesday for the position of admissions counselor. i was looking like a tough bitch in my new pin-striped suit and feel like i had a really good interview, despite the fact that i was interviewed by 4 people, 2 of them being nuns. i think it was busting out with a piece from the 'sound of music' that sealed the deal. it's been a week and a day....no call yet from frauline maria.

the other call was for an admissions and records job at diablo valley college in concord. yes, concord does suck, but it's only 20 mins from b-town and one bridge toll instead of 2. unfortunately, it wasn't for an interview. the job required me to be able to type at least 40wpm and to prove it with a certification from the county human resources office. so on wednesday i drove my happy little ass over to walnut creek and took a typing test....actually it was more like 6 typing tests. having NEVER needed to take a typing test before, i didn't realize that after calculating your words per minute the flippin' computer DEDUCTS a word for EVERY single mistake you make. EVEN IF YOU CORRECT IT!!!!! so, although i was typing my ass off and getting as high as 56wpm all my mistakes were bringing it down to as low as 26wpm. the highest score i got was 36wpm. now, before any of you call me a retard and accuse me of only using my index fingers to type, i must inform you all that i use an ergonomic keyboard at work and the keyboard i used for the test WAS NOT ergonomic. my wrists would start hurting at about the 2 minute mark. (it was a 5 minute test.) the more tests i took, the worse my score, the more frustrated i became. i walked out hating the contra costa college community college district. my friends and co-workers tried to console me saying that it may not be such a big deal. they just may need to know that you can type. despite their good thoughts, i still felt like a dumb ass. my feelings of dumb assness were finally confirmed last night when i opened a letter from the human resources dept for the colleges of contra costa that read:

Other candidates who better met the qualifications and needs of the District were asked to proceed further in the process.
are they fucking telling me that my 2 years in graduate admissions and year and a half helping fucking clueless students at HSF aren't enough to fucking work at your dumb school? are they seriously telling me, that the ONLY way to be able to perform the duties for an admissions and records job is to type fast?!?!?! no brain usage required?!?!?!?!?!

i should of just done what all the other mexicans did and major in chicano/la raza studies. at least i'd know why i was not qualified for anything.

***this post is dedicated to the university of the pacific. twas not for your $96,000 education i would not be where i am today.

it's official: i'm a bitch

2004-09-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

ok, so there's this guy. a real nice guy. for security purposes, let's call him, hmmmm, let's see.....'milhouse'.

ok, so milhouse is this really nice guy that i've talked to on the phone a couple of times. he lives in fairfield (shudder), about to move to vallejo, and works as a carpenter. he's tall, a decent person and seems genuinely interested in me. he wants to take me to see a movie this weekend. all morning i've been thinking of a way to get out of it.

i talked to him as i was driving home last night and found myself rolling my eyes every couple of minutes. i don't know if it was what he was saying or the way he was saying it. whatever it was, my eyes were working overtime. there was many a time where he would be talking and trail off in mid sentence and NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE. did he lose his train of thought? did he not have anything else to say? i don't know cause the uncomfortable silence forced me to change topics. luckily, i'm driving my brother's car so i didn't have my headset. traffic was slow and a cop pulled up along side me and was with me for a couple of miles so i got off the phone.

i'm evil and karma is a bitch....i have the gum on the bottom of my shoe to prove it.

everybody's doing it!

2004-09-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

yes, it's finally happened. i've jumped on the weblog bandwagon. so, what of it?!

i have to start this thing out by saying that i'm not really a fan of blogs. to be honest, they kinda annoy the shit out of me...yet i find myself logging on to them more and more each day. WTF?, you ask. the answer is really very simple. as a matter of fact, you've already read the answer in the heading.

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT WORK!!

my daily workload can be finished in about an hour, if i had it all in front of me at one time. unfortunately, i don't so it happens in sporadic spurts throughout my 8 hour day. so what do i occupy the other 7 hours with?? i occupy it with the greatest invention ever made.....EVER! some of you may have heard of it. it's called the internet. for those of you that don't know, it's pretty much the best thing ever invented. some people may think that there's no way of even knowing that. those people are dumb.

so i'm online most of the day. the news is really depressing. i've pretty much looked up everything there is to look up online that is not porn related. it takes www.televisionwithoutpity.com a week after airdate to post full recaps of my favorite shows, which get read the minute they are broadcast. E! fashion police pics get updated only twice a week. IMing my homies gets cut short due to their real jobs. (jen, i'm talking to you.) what's left? the wonderful world of blogs.

so friends, here is it. i'm not promising you guys anything coherent or without spelling and grammatical errors. i'm just gonna log on whenever i'm done with "work". and whenever i feel like rocking your world....SUPERSONIC!

peace in da middle east,
mones (ms. chavez if you're nasty)