slowly spiraling into bankruptcy...

i never fancied myself a good money manager. i have a retirement account and an IRA that i never touch, which is good. but i have a credit card with a 5 digit balance and a savings account with a balance that fluctuates up and down, not steadily up as one would desire.

part of the problem is that i'm of the mind that i shouldn't deprive myself of things that i want/desire/covet. i buy in moderation of course. i mean shit, i have some self-control. which is why i haven't bought this or this. what but can i say, i like stuff...nice stuff.

so last month i dropped my beloved nikon d50 (with brand new tamron lens attached). the lens walked away without a scratch, but the camera body, not so much. i'd like to mention that i spent many hours debating new lens vs. new camera earlier in the year. new lens won since i didn't "need" it, my camera was working fine. i appreciate the irony, but curse it nonetheless. so i researched and posted on forums and cried. then i posted on forums, cried and researched. in the end, i realized what the universe had wanted for me all along and upgraded to a nikon d300 and deepened my debt.

then came the announcement of madonna's sticky and sweet tour in the fall with a november stop in oakland. i first experienced a madonna concert in 2004 from a decent, but still hitz, balcony seat. the experience had a major impact on me (it's still one of the best nights of my life) and it was then that i vowed that: 1- i will always attend a madonna concert and 2- it's floor seats or death! keeks and i were able to get floor seats for confessions and decided to join the fan club this year to be eligible for presale tickets. after some hitzness with "legacy" vs. "platinum" members we were able to get floor seats and make madonna $800 richer. unfortunately, they weren't as good as our confessions seats. so we took advantage of another fan club only sale and got 2 more better seats for her 2nd night in oakland. so now, we have floor seats for both nights. madonna: +$800 MsMonis: -$800

i'm going to san diego with my brothers for 5 days in july; plane tickets & hotel already paid. but i'm also planning a trip to the east coast for my birthday and one to barcelona in the spring. i also need to find a way to pay my rent and buy groceries. it's obvious which of those is a "need" and which is a "want". but i guess it depends on who you're asking, my brain or my soul. and judging from the amount of debt i've accrued, my soul wins out every time.