AAHHHHHH!

ok, so the plan is (and has been) to move into my deluxe studio in the sky this weekend. saturday. october 30th. 30 hours from now. should i be worried that i don't have a lease yet??? cause i am.

worried is not really the word. I'M FUCKING FREAKING OUT. this whole month has just been a roller-coaster of emotions. i'm happy. i'm frustrated. i'm excited. i'm sad. i'm anxious. i'm mellow. i can't flippin take it anymore. one big obstacle that hung over my head had to do with javi (my youngest brother). he's starting a baking and pastry chef certificate program on november 1st at the california culinery academy. they may be a world renowned institution, but their admissions staff are a bunch of fuck-wads. and i know about fuck-wads. i work in admissions at fuck-wad state university. anyways, his financial aid didn't get settled until tuesday and it had my whole family's chonies in a wad. i don't remember having any problem with my financial aid. all i did was sign a whole bunch of paperwork. on the 5th of november i'll have payment 16 of 537,568 deducted from my checking account. NEAT!

so that's been taken care of and it truly is a great relief, but my futon is being delivered on saturday and I DON'T HAVE A LEASE. ok, i know, stop freaking out. everything will work out. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. i can't help but feel, though, like i'm stuck in limbo. it's not my apartment yet. but then again, it's not like it's not mine. they know i'm moving in. i have the keys. (thanks sara!) i just need things to be settled. i need the legality of my signature on a fucking piece of paper. i need money to be exchanged. i need it to be mine.